So...

Well, I really need a job now. really. I. yeah. I'm sorta a loser right now. Well, I'm not losing weight actually. I'm eating too much and exercising too little. I feel like a tool. Right now i can't even think of something interesting or smart to say. I just know, I need to find something to do and get myself in order. Oh yeah, I finished that summer work I just need to finish my online class and probably take another one too. Who knows?

Thinspo of the day:




I want one of these.
A condom purse by paintingstars!!! I know its so 2007 but I like a little retro-safe sex promotion.

Before my Summer Ends...

Before my summer ends I need to do a bunch of work: read Naked Economics: Undresssing the Dismal Science by Wheelan, read The Thirteen Aerican Arguments by Howard Fineman, and review 25 court cases. I have read the first book, part of the second and reviewed no court cases. Darn it. I have today, tomorrow, and Sunday. My family wants to go to the ech on Sunday. So I have today and tomorrow. I don't know if I can do 25 court case reviews today and tomorrow, but with diligence and hard work, I'm going to try a focus. So here goes...

Weight:
Well right now I'm not sure if the lying scale is still lying or telling me the truth but it claims I weigh 140lbs apprx. 63.63kg. So I dont know if I should believe it or what, but what I do know is, I need a job.

Thinspo of the day:

Yum yum! Still fat, but loving what I'm eating.

I made crêpes today for breakfast. It was so good. I had fresh fruits and made a jam. I drank two cups of coffee with it. It was so great. For lunch I had half a cup of yogurt and 1.5 slices of toast and two cups of coffee. I'm drinking lots of water now because the caffeine is making me dizzy and hyper. So what can I say today has been so far a day. I went for my morning walk and I did one hundred crunches. So i need to do some more exercises, but what?
Thinspo of the day:

Food today. Pounds tomorrow.

I feel fat today I was supposed to be dieting but instead I cooked a lot and ate even more. I just wouldn't stop and now I feel awful. I'm really letting myself go. I wish i would have stopped. I feel super ill now. I'm super irritated to I think I might go turn on my ipod and dance for an hour or so. All the exercise I did was walking. Walking only does so much. I did weigh myself on the broken scale it said I was 150 pounds... still! I am having a hard time losing weight because everyday is a crazy binge struggle. I did do the BMI of my weight and height and I am over-weight. I am exactly on the threshold of over-weight if I lose a pound I'll be in the healthy normal range. I want to be better than the healthy normal range. I want to be THIN. That's what I want. I was watching a little bit of Coco avant Chanel (Coco Before Chanel). It was a very beautiful movie and I am so glad Coco came about because I don't know what I would do still in some of the things they were wearing back then. I liked some of the things, but Coco's style was just so beautiful. So Steph is going to her grandma's house due to problems at home. Stevie is hurting and in pain due to some slightly known circumstances.
Thinspo of the Day:

Fool Stop.

So yeah, it was my brother's birthday today and I ate like a fucking pig. ahaha. it's sorta funny having Steph read what I type out loud, but also fucking annoying. Shut up! I don't think she understands. I said it in plain English. Well, ... geez. she wont stop. full stop. fool stop. hahaha yeah. Well I got punched in the arm. Ow. I'm so fragile (said like from the movie A Christmas Story [he said it must be Italian]). There's a cig in a alcohol container in my room. I didn't drink it at all, but it's there. I don't drink. Drinking is for losers. I'm a winner. Don't do drugs! I need money. So yeah, i'm starting my smoothie diet. Yep Yep. I need to lose like 50 pounds. Round of applause for Steph for saying "So" pounds. Yea. I need money. I love everyone. I need a job and a good quality college education.

Rain Rain, GO AWAY!!! please...

Bleh, it's raining. I have to go to church and come home and do 4 assignments of my online class. It's sorta lame that i wated to the last minute to do them. I'm a lazy bum sometimes. I've been woking my but off on my pre-course work. I weigh I whopping 147lbs today. Yeah! So, today so far all I've had is well a peach plum crossbred fruit, heard it called a dino egg or some nonsense. I will probably boil an egg and eat a banana later. I don't know, we'll see. Anyway today's thinspo is well here goes.
Thinspo of the day:
(again not me. Do not own)

Smoke in Style

I took like an hour nap today. I haven't been working on my course work online now and upcoming and I haven't been exercising or dieting. I have been getting fatter and fatter. I have my senoir pictures on the 18th of this month and I look completely like shit. I have eleven (11) DAYS to look the best. So yeah. I'll start that. Anywho, Steph can't stand her family problems and may be leaving to live with her grandma. It sorta makes me sad because she's my bestie and I have just been allowed to hangout with her again and now it'll go back to how it was when we didn't get to hangout. *Sigh*. Eh bien, the coolest cigs right now... haha two years ago really...are Nat Sherman Fantasias. The sexiest way to kill yourself slowly. I honestly would like to get a pack. It would be so cool and make me feel better. I don't smoke... I just like the cigs.

http://www.natsherman.com/product-cigarette.cfm?CFID=794596&CFTOKEN=77ab220bb92d271d-4E1C213C-0148-623D-B40E1BC61CEFED73&jsessionid=5c30ea11a959cb0222497a6718281c15123b&productid=1121

Nous faisons semblant nous sommes original nous obtenir par la journée.

So yeah, if you haven't noticed I've been up since one. I looked at myself played on the computer, watched a bit of SKINS season 3, talked to Steph, and played on the comp some more. So yeah there's this old 1996 movie called When Friendship Kills, also known as A Secret Between Friends: A Moment of Truth Movie I sorta laughed when I read the film description. Not because it's a comedie oh non, but because it is the relationship I have with Steph. Both of us knows the other one has a slight eating problem, but neither of us will get help for ourselves or the other one. It's funny because we a so not original when it comes to how we live. I don't just mean Steph and me. I mean everyone who is alive today. Originality died years ago and no one can do anything that hasn't already been done or sing something that hasn't already been sung. We are a group of imitateurs, imitateurs amateurs. Sommes-nous imitateurs amateurs? Nous sommes imitateurs amateurs. How do we live this way? We pretend we are original to get us through the day. Nous faisons semblant nous sommes original nous obtenir par la journée.
Maigre est pour toujours. Maigre est pour toujours. Maigre nous est pour toujours. Thin is forever. We are forever thin or Thin us forever. Nous sommes pour toujours maigre would be we are forever thin... I think my french is no so good. I'm ugly and fat...I think. Dieting is the only way to combat this. So I will diet...and it will be good.
Thinspo of the day:
(Totally not me...wish it was though)

According to this...

According to this random quiz I found on "How French Are You?", I've finally lived long enough in France for other people to notice my existence! I got 91 points. Funny thing don't live in France, never have. I have been there though. I went to Calais, France from Dover, UK quand j'etais tres jeune. I didn't think I was that French though. I should be more British. According to this one The how French are you Test I am quasi -French. My Frenchiness level is 89!
You hate Bush. Pack your baggage and go to live in France where capitalism does not mean screw the poor and the sick, and where food means pleasure and girls like to be complimented. Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)
You scored 89% on Frenchiness, higher than 97% of your peers.
So I was just thinking, if the way I act and regard the world makes me French then what in the world makes me a clutter bug, pack rat, scaredy cat, pefectionist, lover, dreamer, etc, etc, etc. i could go on forever?
Check out Zazzle find Steph and my store Dans la Rue!!!! Link will be posted at a later date when shop is full of merch.
http://www.allthetests.com/quiz07/dasquiztd.php3?testid=1071748384
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=477256038387505944

Geez, I'm so fat.

So right now I have this crappy little bathroom scale of the non-electronic type that is terminally broken, probably from my fat arse stading on it. At zero it says I weigh 140 pounds so I was like ok well its 20 pounds or so off. So I move the dial to 20. When I stand on it at 20 it moves itself to 40 adding forty pounds to my mystery weight shifting my weight to 180 through 170. Last time I properly weighed myself I was 160 pounds, now I try to get the scale to say that and I have been getting 150 to 140. So I'm confused I need a new scale that's all I know. oS, anyway I was bored and I randomly found an article on skinny French women. You can find it here:. They honestly think they are fat when they are not over weight, they should all live in America for a month, they wouldn't think that. Just look at the belle actrice Audrey Tautou. (I do not own this picture. Sole rights of whoever took it and posted it). Funny enough I think like those French women I will always think I'm fat no matter how skinny I get. It's a little sad actually. I'm like 1/8 percent French and compared to others you can definately tell just by my style and the way I carry myself. So that shows a lot. C'est bon, non? I think it is. Je le crois. I want the book "Fatale: How French Women Do It". I just want to see how French I really act.

iDozers Anyone?

So yeah I totally did the LSD (Acid) idoser for the first time. I don't think I felt anything. I'm like impervious to drugs or something. haha I don't know I've never done real LSD. Well, it was interesting after it was done. I just carried out my normal day like any other and I went swimming. Right as I got into the pool I noticed that I got super hot super fast. I was burning up. I was thinking OMG I just caught on fire. It was like all around my shoulders and my neck that was the hottest places. I got worried but I still had to go for my swim. I got in for maybe an hour and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt so sick thaqt I had to get out. When I got out I started vomitting. I just couldn't stop and when I thought it was over, I vomitted some more. It was bad, but now I feel a bit better I'm still awfully hot. I'll live. I'm in my bed. I'm watching my all time favorite movie The Dreamers. Beautiful plot, beautiful characters, beautiful craftmanship, it is truly a superb movie. Good night.